..In Over My Head..

and I wouldn't have it any other way. Even though it hurts really bad.

I am going through it right now. God is working in my and stretching me like never before. I honestly want to take some Hybernole(SNL) and wake up in the spring and have all of this over and done with. My social life is shot, and I have two days a week to see my friends. If I didn't have the grace of God with me, I couldn't do this. I miss everything. The Church, my friend, co-workers, the food, and even cleaning. Gosh...

I feel like I am ready, but now God is really starting to show the core of who I am and it's crazy to see it. Being around being gives me energy. I never knew that. Relationships are the greatest thing to me...and I am having to learn how to redo them. I feel like the one person I want to talk to hates me and the people I need to talk to are more than faithful. People. It's crazy how God made us to need relationships, friendships, and deep friendships at that. I am learning through experience of why God isn't all I need. If I was to try and sit in my room all day for the next three weeks and talk to now one but God, I would come an insane man. Guaranteed. Even having people who are consistent. I love them but I don't know what it is about friends my age. I need them.

I feel like I am on an island...

screaming for anyone.. 

but not just anyone will do...

the one thing I want to find comfort in I can't. 

Ouch.

..How in the world..

It wrecks my mind to think of all of the things that God has done. Last night I went to Frontline(College age Ministry at my Church) and Kyle Kellums brought this word with the title of "Why Jesus Came." It amazed me in my mind, as the Lord brought revelation, of how easily we can take the life, death, and resurrection of Christ for granted. That we could look past the "meat" of the meaning and just see a ticket to good life and to heaven. I prayed this morning after looking over the notes that Kyle gave last night and just got an immense feeling that I haven't even "scratched the surface" of the fullness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. 

I like writing, and specifically writing music. I guess that is my way of expressing myself. Yesterday I took the StrengthsFinder test and was rather surprised of how accurate an internet evaluation could be. 

Here are my top five, for those of you have either taken it or hear of it:

1. Belief

2. Communication

3. Woo

4. Responsibility

5. Arranger

Now the reason I bring all of this up is because of Communication. I love telling stories, describing things to people, and breaking things down in a more contemporary language for those who might not get it. Seriously. I love it. and I think I am pretty good at it, if I can say that myself. But I feel that God has gifted me in this way to write music, and to write music about what God does, what He can do, what He offers to those who are faithful to Him. But I want to break it down. To a simpler terminology. 

Here is the definition of Woo. 

"Woo stands for winning others over. You enjoy the challenge of meeting new people and getting them to like you. Strangers are rarely intimidating to you. On the contrary, strangers can be energizing. You are drawn to them. You want to learn their names, ask them questions, and find some area of common interest so that you can strike up a conversation and build rapport. Some people shy away from starting up conversations because they worry about running out of things to say. You don't. Not only are you rarely at a loss for words; you actually enjoy initiating with strangers because you drive satisfaction from breaking the ice and making a connection. Once that connection is made, you are quite happy to wrap it up and move on. There are new people to meet, new rooms to work, new crowds to mingle in. IN you world there are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet - lots of them."

I am not going to go into how much this one fits me, but I want to share this.

We are not flukes. God didn't make us by chance, luck, or by wit. He wasn't and isn't joking. 

"Before I formed you in the belly I knew you; and before you came forth out of the womb I sanctified you, and I ordained you a prophet to the nations."

(Jeremiah 1:5)

He has shaped us into His image, but here is the thing that I have been learning. We must be shaped into the likeness of Christ. We are made to know God. But in our own sinful and fleshly attitudes, that is near impossible. That is why Christ came to set us free from the bondage of sin and death. Last night Kyle said, "There are two things that you cannot overcome. Sin and Death. If you don't believe me, try this. Don't sin and don't die." After he said this, I laughed. I often laugh as a way of response to something that is so right that there is not other way around it. But Christ has come to set us free from sin and death. Hallelujah...

license

I'm finally getting back to life. 

For those of you who don't know, I had my license taken away on Valentine's day. But back in December, I got pulled over for going fourteen over in a neighborhood. As I was waiting for the officer to run my license, I was thinking of the ticket I got before I went to Mexico. As I see him get out of his car, I remembered that I never paid off that ticket. As he began to walk towards my car, I noticed that he had on some nice shiny black gloves, and in that moment I knew I was screwed. That was an "awesome" day. It took like 5 hours to get my license back, which was cool and all, but I had a stinkin' court date. So a few months go by, and I'm sitting in the court...waiting. Finally, this old man comes out, sporting a nice turtle-neck and sports jacket. Eventually, He calls for the people who had some type of moving violation(which was me), and then he says, "Now, if I can get all of the folks who are over 20 to come up first." And all that I can think in my mind was, "Oh c'mon you old sack of...nevermind." 

About 15 minuets later, he calls up all of the "young folk" and asks us to line up in front of his desk. He then takes the chance to tell us that we should be ashamed of ourselves, and that we are all a bunch of liars. About five minuets later, after he wrapped up his "awesome" speech, he gave us this option. If it was our first offense, then we could either take the charges, let it go on our records and jack up our insurance, or let it slide and give him  your license for three weeks(depending on how fast you were going) and take defensive drivers school. So, I weighed out my options, thought about it for a mili-second, and said, "Duh, you old....I will take option two, Sir" 

All of that to say, that I will be getting my license back, and can be able to drive myself around like a normal person.

thanks for reading..